What does one say?

The last few days have been filled with "what ifs?," grieving, mourning, and anger.   I can't watch the television anymore and I avoid the front page.  I am oversaturated with the "news" and the media's spin on all of this.    There aren't the right words to say or share.   At Bible Study last night , we put prayers in our prayer box that is placed in our tower in the sanctuary.   We did this as a response to a story from Anne Lamott's new book, Grace Eventually entitled "Wailing Wall."     As we wrote out the prayers, we lifted up the names of people in our congregaton and the events surrounding us.  Kind of letting go and letting God! It may seem hokey but for me it helped.   In times of tragedies, we have all kinds of mixed feelings.  In the wake of the Virginia Tech deaths, I am at loss for words.   So I write the prayer down and let God. I was asked, "what do you say when tragedy strikes?"   The Moderator of the National Korean Presbyterian Council, Rev. Choi of Alameda Korean Presbyterian Church sent a letter to the President of Virginia Tech sharing the condolences and heartache of the council because the shooter was Korean.    A copy of the letter is on Bruce's Blog @ reyes-chow.com.    With that letter, he sent the following note,

Would you join the NKPC’s executive committee to call a vigil service or prayer meeting in your church on Wed. evening or even during the Sunday worship service to remember the victims and to pray for the healing?  It is heart breaking that the person who killed the students is our fellow Korean who apparently had emotional problem during his young life.  It also presents a great challenge for our believing community to reach out young people who are lost.  This is a wake-up call for the whole Korean community.

When I got the letter, I wanted to scream!  It's not a wake up call for the "whole Korean Community."  It is  a wake up call in a series of wake up calls for this nation!!!   We obsess over tragedies that happen in numbers, depending on who it is and why!   Yes, the shooter was Asian.   I am praying that this incident does not stereotype all Asians as having the propensity for this type of violence.   People are sick!  All colors, sizes and shapes!  The shooter was mentally ill.  The embarrasment and apologies should come from our governments, politicians, and others who believe that mental illness is not serious enough to back with dollars, facilities, personnel, and a strong network of resources to meet the needs of those suffering form the myriad of mental illnesses.    We will spend billions to fight terrorists here and abroad.   Our actions to "protect" our nation has cuased thousands of deaths, our own and those of whom we try to protect.   Just yesterday, 200 Iraq Shiites were killed!  Is this another "wake up call" for us!   Flags are half-mast, I haven't heard of a major death other than Virigina Tech so I am assuming they are at half-mast for the lives lost.  Shouldn't we fly them half-mast when a solider dies because he or she followed the orders of our Commander-in-Chief? If we did the flag would be half-mast for years.  Mental illness and violence is a bad combination.  But it will continue.  Violence will continue to pervade our culture and society and until we stop using violence to supposedly spread "democracy and peace." Mental Illness is a sickness and until we as a nation recognize the need for more resources the tragedies will continue.     This Sunday Bethel will have a prayer vigil during worship for lives lost in violence and prayers that one day we will WAKE UP!!!